How to Host a Garden Snail Race


So Eastenders isn’t on the box tonight, you’ve run out of paint to watch dry so here’s the thing to perk up the dark evenings, a snail race! Get your dodgy fedora hat and cigar at the ready and enter bookie mode as you convince your beered up mates that it’s better than online poker n such…

The site does into sickening detail on capturing your competitors and infact preparing them for the big race:
Many of the mollusks will be too skittish to come out of their shells. You want brave snails. Wait until one peeks out of his shell and starts moving. Grab that one and, while holding the shell in the air, press a racing number onto the shell. DO NOT apply the number while on the ground because you’ll smoosh and possibly injure the snail.

All the same excitement you would come to expect from a good day out at Leopardstown but in saying that you would want to be numb in the brain to be this bored, funny all the same!

Link

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